Credit card swiped. You twirl with delight at your latest splurge; a pair of black pointy Christian Louboutins defined by its red-lacquered soles. It is perfect! The fit, the style, the elegance, everything wrapped in thin white tissue paper and boxed to perfection. As you strut out of the store with poise and sophistication, you think to yourself, what a simple but yet gratifying purchase. As soon as you get home, you unwrap the shoes like a child getting a Christmas gift, the only difference being you know what to expect and it is exactly that which you want. In that moment, as you slip on the Christian Louboutins you fall in love all over again. And so, as every girl searches for the perfect pair of shoes, likewise she is looking to find the perfect man, the perfect relationship.
However, buying the perfect pair of Christian Louboutins is not as simple as finding the perfect man and perfect relationship. Sometimes we have to settle for a knock-off pair of stilettos, or pair of shoes that is designed purely for comfort and the convenience of everyday life like the ‘prominent’ pair of crocs. Once upon a time people would want to be in a relationship simply for love and companionship, however that fairy tale has ended. In the new era we are living in, the reasons for being in a relationship have changed dramatically to an extent that it has been accepted as a norm. Relationships are being formed and built mainly around finances, security, lust and conformism, knowing that it is not one’s idea of a perfect relationship. Or has the definition of ideal and perfect changed? If the shoe does not fit then do not wear it and likewise if the relationship does not work do not force and prolong what is simply not meant to be.
Many are reading this, thinking that the perfect man or the perfect relationship does not exist. However, it does. Perfection is not defined by being with a guy that has a muscular body with defining facial features such as the chiseled jaw and piercing blue eyes, a high earning job at a top firm and an endless list of what you perceive to be your “dream/ perfect guy” over whom all the other women are swooning. That my ladies is only found in fairytales. The perfect guy is when you have a sense of that first instinctive attraction. A connection felt and leaving you speechless. It seems unreal, time seems to be standing still and I am not talking about “Love at first sight” because that is 1 in a million. Rather a sense of knowing deep down that there is more to this guy than meets the eye.
The perfect relationship on the other hand is one where you would be in a certain place in your life (not physically) alone but right next to you is a partner that compliments each aspect of your life without question of, am I doing the right thing. The perfect relationship is having the same mindset, the same vision, and the same expectations so that 10 years down the line you do not blame each other for what is or could’ve been. The worst is when one is subconsciously in denial, thinking that one day that person will change or that person will give up their bad habits and traits. As the saying goes, old habits die hard, and if you do not like something about your partner now, you never will. Please understand, opposites attract and every relationship needs its differences otherwise it is just a boring mediocre relationship and no one wants boring or mediocre and definitely not both. The best method is to imagine yourself with that same person in 10 years’ time, imagine yourself with the same person in a different place or in different circumstances. Would your relationship then still be the same?
Remember you need to be open to love when the right opportunity presents itself because with love comes joy, compassion, respect and understanding. However, and most importantly you must love yourself first before you can love somebody else. It is amazing what you learn about yourself and the person you want to be by being with someone that you love. In fact it is scary finding yourself doing things that you never quite imagined doing for that special person and in the end you feel pure bliss, seeing and knowing that the one you love is happy. That is what ultimately makes the perfect relationship, when your main goal waking up each day is making the person you love happy. In doing so, you dispel all the doubt, the fears, the ‘what ifs’, the faults of the person which brings you one step closer to a perfect relationship.
P.S. I absolutely love shoes and have many pairs. But I too am still searching for that “perfect pair”
The 156 Supermodel